Momma Raised Her Babies Right

Since Lindsey decided to one-up all of us kids by writing her "Ode to Father" last week, I decided I would write my own Ode... to my dear mother.

Have you ever played the Worst Case Scenario game?  It's a game that provides you with outrageous situations where you have to decide your best exit for survival.  For example, how would one cross a piranha-infested river without a boat or bridge?  Mom has taught me some excellent tips on surviving even the most extreme conditions in life, so that I feel like a boy scout... well prepared.

To start, Mom taught me that when you're under the gun to impress your new ward members that you can make a perfectly round loaf of bread for the ward casserole potluck, you must always add sugar to your yeast to help it grow.  It never fails.  I always have the most impressive loaf at all the ward functions.

Mom taught me to work hard.  Just last week I was telling Adam that Lindsey and I would mow the lawn every Saturday morning when we lived in Ohio.  It was no small yard and I felt pretty awesome that I was a girl AND I mowed lawns.  Super macho.  I gained some nice biceps in the process of pulling the cord 846 times to start that stinkin' mower, so I'm pretty sure I could handle a piranha-infested lake with my nicely-toned guns .

In the area of tying knots, Mom taught me how to tie a perfectly proportionate bow so that I never have a sloppy looking gift to give or wreath to display.  I'm pretty sure the same bow would be strong enough to hold the rope on a bridge with 3 elephants.

Mom taught me to fight off the bullies.  I was as awesome a kid as there ever was, and some of my classmates were intimidated by my sheer awesome-ness as a kid.  So in defense, some of them would make fun of me so that they could feel better about themselves.  Well, when I told mom that the other kids were making fun of my bug-eyed-stellar glasses, she marched right into that school and talked right to the girl that was making fun of me.  Now I can beat off the verbal abuses of 28 bullies at once with the mere flex of my pinky (skadoosh!!)
*This bullet was inspired by Kung Fu Panda

Mom taught me how to inhale a book.  Mom loves to read, and even though I don't read as much as she does, there's a reason for that.  You see, Mom is a temperate reader, she's learned to control and balance her life around reading.  I haven't mastered this yet.  If I start a book, don't talk to me until I'm done.  I can't even take care of my own children when I'm reading a book.  So I'm grateful to Mom for instilling in me the love of a good book, and cursed for it all at the same time.

Mom taught me how to study.  When I was 14, a freshman in high school, I took a BEAST of a Biology class.  It was HAAAARD.  Especially for a 14 year old.  Mom would sit and study for hours and hours with me though.  She would read the material beforehand and sit with me at the kitchen table for hours learning about the Krebs Cycle and meiosis and the role of the Golgi apparatus within a cell.  All this studying allowed me to take some insane classes at BYU, which made me look like a smarty-pants, which landed me the world's greatest husband.  He was attracted to my knowledge on the subject of Pathophysiology.

Mom taught me what it meant to be patient.  Mom and Dad didn't always live in a nice house... in fact, they lived in apartments until I was like 7.  Mom's always had a love for beautiful things though, and she learned to live within her means.  Mom also had Nathan, who was about 3000 times harder a baby than us angelic sisters, and her experience in learning to be patient with him helped me immensely when Hallie was driving me insane when she was little.  Now I can handle any crazed baby with all sorts of tricks and techniques... although I never ever ever want to... ever again.

Mom taught me how to clean.  This one's been on my mind a lot lately as we've been showing our house to renters.  I have to keep the house clean ALL THE TIME, and it completely stresses me out.  I don't know how mom did it like the 86 times we moved.  That's some serious skill.  Her cleaning skills could compete with Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicking skills.

Mom taught me to care for others.  Mom's always been an amazing friend to others.  I've seen it numerous times with the friends she's made.  Pam, Shauna, Vanessa, and many many others.  Mom has also been there for me when I needed a friend.  When I got rejected by a boy in high school (he obviously couldn't handle my awesome-ness), when I was having a rough semester when I first got to BYU, when I wanted to shoot myself in the foot after I had Hallie.  My heart has repaired from the rejection, I learned to eventually like BYU, and I still have my foot.  All because of Mom.

Most importantly, Mom taught me what it meant to love the Lord.  I've grown up and moved out of the house, and in so doing, I've had to decide if what my parents taught me was something I wanted to live by.  Seeing the great example of Mom in her visiting teaching, in praying and teaching us what it means to have a testimony and how to rely on the Lord and to just have faith has taught me more than any of these other great skills.  And that's what has helped me survive any "worst case scenario" the most.  I'm grateful to mom for instilling a love in me for the gospel and a desire to do what's right.  It's why I have such a great husband, kids, and such a happy and peaceful life.

I love you, Mom!!

Whit