Tough Love

Today in RS we had a lesson on courageous parenting.  I piped up at the beginning and shared what I thought the phrase meant... things like not being afraid to confront your children on hard issues or things that might be uncomfortable (especially as the world gets more and more wicked).  Then some other ladies shared some good thoughts, all very different from one another.  One comment particularly peaked my interest.  Sister Clark said that as she was raising her kids, she wanted very much to be their friend so that their children would feel comfortable coming to her about anything.  Then she added, but it took a couple of children for me to figure out that what my children really needed was love with boundaries.  That they wanted boundaries, they wanted someone to give them guidelines and set up rules. Now I don't want to say this is was a complete shocker, as I plan on setting up rules and guidelines for my own children, but the fact that she said that her children wanted them (of course, any teenager wouldn't admit this, but deep down I believe it gives them a sense of security and a feeling that they are cared for). 
Anyway, I continued to ponder on this for a while throughout the lesson.  I am terrified for my children to become teenagers, quite honestly.  I want sooooooooooooooo badly for them to want to come to me with any problem, so that they can feel that safety and security in coming to me.  However, I also know that if there aren't boundaries and limits that we set, we ultimately will set ourselves up for failure.  My children need expectations set in place for them.  So how do you achieve the balance of being a "friend" enough for them to want to come to you to talk when they may have a problem and setting high expectations for them, too?  If they feel like they have failed you (not met those expectations), they would naturally shun away from talking to you about what they have done wrong.
I'm not sure I know where the balance is, but I would like to. 
I also wanted to thank dad for what he did for me as a teenager.  I know mom and I would butt heads a lot, and it really wasn't a great relationship for a lot of healthy learning and spiritual growth (sorry for being a pig-head, mom!  thankfully, our relationship is fabulous now :)).  But Dad was somehow always patient with me.  He would try to understand why I did the ridiculous things I did, and when I didn't have a good answer for him, I knew I was wrong.  I would always walk away from our talks knowing that he loved me very much, but that I needed to shape up  (whether or not I did was a different matter... but I think I turned out ok).  That's how Heavenly Father would do it, I think.  Call us to repentance and to straighten up, but to just as quickly pour out His love for us.

Man, parenting is a lot of work.  It gives me a headache :)

THE BIG 12

The first thing I'd like to say that no one has blogged since December. I turned 12 yesterday. It was a great experience. At the beginning of church I went up on the stand. They gave me my certificate of advancement from primary. Then I gave my article of faith. The 11 article of faith. Then I went to normal class. Then I went to deacons quorum. I loved it! My teacher is great. Then after church I went to go get ordained it took about 10 minutes to finally get my mom and dad down to the Bishops office. We went in there and the bishop talked about being a deacon. Then he asked my mom and dad to tell what they liked about me. Mom said how I am a hard worker. How I like everyone and love to be silly and tease. She also said that I have a pure and obedient heart. Dad added a little more. He said that when I play sports I care about my teammates and want them to succeed. My dad also said that I was a great uncle. The bishop told me I had great parents and they had a great kid. The bishop told me to be careful during my teenage years and to be aware that Satan wants to destroy me and to get me to do bad things. My dad ordained me to the Aaronic priesthood. He told me that I was blessed with many talents and abilities from the pre-existence and I was to use them to be a blessing in the lives of others. He told me to prepare to serve an honorable mission and that being obedient and doing my duty in the Aaronic Priesthood would help me to prepare.